9

It was messy.  The money, the emotions, the selfishness, the pride. It made a mess.  I cannot report for him.  I no longer know him. A foreign concept still today.  I married someone expecting to spend all our holidays and happiness and sorrows together forever.   Yet somehow forever is shortened to a year and some change.  Very little change.

He left on a Sunday.  A confession I have never made is that I saw him leave.  Our alarm system had cameras installed that could be checked from a mobile app.  I logged into the app at the exact time he was walking out.  He had his orange bag.  He was locking the door.  He drove away.  I knew.  But later when I got home and he wouldn’t answer my calls or texts I was still surprised.  I was still shocked that his bag was gone, his computer, and everything else he needed the next week. 

My mother said his mother was beeping in on our conversation.  She had to go to take Linsa’s call.  I was there in our house.  Waiting to hear what my mother-in-law would say to my mother.  It’s a feeling of anticipation and panic and knowing what is coming before it comes.  There was no chance I could sit at that point. 

Returned call from my mother saying exactly what I already knew.  He had left.  He was too cowardly or as my mother-in-law said too upset to talk.  When you grow up like we did in the upper middle class it is difficult to face reality.  It’s so much easier to get your parents to take care of your problems.  Unfortunately it happens.  And it happened to my marriage. Mother-in-law passes to mother who passes to daughter that her husband has left her.  No they would not say where my husband was located.  No my husband would not be in contact.