Did you ever read the book "The Scarlet Letter" in school? I did. As part of our class we had to wear a scarlet letter for the duration of the time spent reading the book. At the beginning of the spring semester in my junior year of high school we each were given a tiny square of paper no bigger than a 1x1 inch scrap. We each were to write or secret sin on the scrap. I distinctly remember having no secret sin. No obvious sin. I was that girl in high school who showed up to church every time youth had an event or really every time church had an event. I didn't party. I didn't drink. I hardly dated. I went to church. I studied. I loved on my family. I loved on my friends. I didn't have a secret sin because I strived for perfection.
I drew a smiley face on the slip of paper. Then we were given a necklace made of black yarn and two red squares taped together. We were to slide the slip of paper inside the red squares. Then the next two months or so we wore those necklaces every time we were on school grounds. We wore our scarlet letter. Our secret sin. The secret sin that I did not have.
I still don't have a secret sin. I have a public sin. Divorce. But that is not really the subject of this post...
Tonight I fail at logging in to hulu on my computer. The saved data that has been there for the past year somehow got erased. My email address with my maiden name and current last name "Land" does not work. There is no record of this email address on hulu. So I sign and think of my current scarlet letter. ARCHER
My married name continues to haunt me somehow. I know immediately that my former email containing my married last name of "Archer" will let me log in to the website. That name. Each time I type it I think of "The Scarlet Letter". A women forced to wear her sin. A woman forced to wear her past. A woman forced to wear something that is not all her doing but equally another's.
Archer. The name that reminds me of my past but not my current state or anywhere near my future.
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Sidenote: I must say I did like being an Archer. Mostly because I was at the first of the alphabet.
