The Day That Changed My Life

365 days ago my life changed forever.  My path took a turn I never saw coming.  It was the worst day of my life. Yet somehow all these days later, I am grateful for the sharp turn in my path.

I came home on Sunday, October 21, 2012 from a weekend with my two best friends in Birmingham.  When I got home my husband wasn't home.  It was around lunch so I thought he had gone to get something to eat.  A quick call got his voicemail and a text got no reply.  That is when I noticed our laptop was gone.  So was the computer bag.  And so was his suitcase.

Now, we had more than our fair share of difficulties in our marriage of barely a year but never had either of packed up and with not so much as a word or indication of leaving.  We had not even seen each other in 3 days.  How could something go wrong when we weren't even together?

I called my mother and calmly told her I thought John George had left.  I remember her asking why and me explaining about the missing items.  That is when she interrupted me saying that his mother was beeping in on her phone.  We ended our call and I very nervously waited to hear why my mother in law was calling my mother.  My mom called back soon and said that JG's mother was calling to pass along the message that he had left me and could my mother pass the message to me.  Yes, seriously!  That is a true story.  That is just how it happened. 

I don't really remember much about the rest of the day.  My parents who thankfully live only 20 minutes away immediately headed to my house. I remember crying.  I remember finally getting JG on the phone later that night.  I was sitting in my beautiful walk in close that the two of us had so lovingly planned and constructed.  I was crying and confused.  I don't really remember the conversation but I do know he said he just needed time to decide if he wanted a divorce or not.  I never knew that day where he was or who he was with but I did know he was gone.

My life changed forever that day.  The perfect life I had dreamed of for so long was gone.  It was taken from me.  I didn't get a choice.  It's all still so confusing to me.  How can I today be so grateful for a life that came as a result of a divorce?  I am not grateful for my divorce yet I am so grateful to not be bound to that man and that life for the rest of my days. 

Two remarkable things happened today that reminded me of God's presence. The first a text from a loving friend. The second being an unpaid bill at the dentist. 

I woke up to an encouraging message from a sweet friend that I haven't seen in quite a while.  She told me she was praying for me today.  At the time I did not realize that today was exactly a year since JG left.  I just thought it was another day.  Which honestly it is.  Later on in the day I did the math on the calendar and was struck by how important it was to have someone praying for me today.  How awesome is God?

I also went in today to have a cavity filled. I was informed that I had an outstanding bill from 2012.  A bill that JG had told me he paid last fall.  Come to find out he only paid the portion of the bill that was for his dental services.  At first I started to tear up.  How can he still be such a jerk "from beyond the grave" of our marriage?  Its like my married last name that seems like it will never fully go away.  And then as I'm texting my mother about the bill, a really calm feeling came over me.  I realized that I am free from the man who treated me like I wasn't even human.  I'm glad it wasn't my choice.  I would have held on forever to my marriage.  I truly believed and still do believe that God can do anything, including save my former marriage.  Now do I think He will save my marriage? No. Do I want Him to save my marriage? This I feel bad for saying but the answer is no. Stranger things have happened though so I'm just going to keep living each day as it comes with my eyes on My Lord and Savior.

So today I am grateful for the worst day of my life.  It had to happen to get me to the person I am today.  I was dropped flat on my face and my world turned upside down but through it all God has been faithful. He has never left me even in my darkest moments.  Thank you, Lord and Father, for your many many blessings.