EBP 2

Thus far I've really only talked about the painfully uncomfortable trials I've been facing. But for those of you who know me best, you know that there is another kind of uncomfortableness that I often experience. Awkwardness. Or maybe I should say that the people around me often experience. I have a tendency to make situations seriously awkward. Somewhere out there on Facebook is a group called "I have experienced the awkwardness that is Mary Kendall".

"When I first moved to Jackson four years ago, Lindsey (bff/legal counselor) and I had the brilliant idea to write a book about our lives.  Or more so we came up with the best title ever for a book and spent months talking it up to everyone and planning it. Our book is called "The Evil Bitch Plan: Two single girls in the not so big city".  Doesn't that sound like a best seller? It basically chronicles our horror dating stories the year we lived in the Vieux Carre apartments. The bulk of the book has to do with the time God told us to join eharmony while we were in the restroom at church. Btw it turned out not to be God's voice talking to us that day. Can you say disaster situation? Now one advantage to being single again is that I can collect material for EBP 2.  And I think I've already got some pretty great new material.

"Lindsey and I have recently discovered a great happy hour at a restaurant that shall remain unnamed. While paying my tab a few weeks ago the bartender commented about how awesome my last name is because its his favorite show, Archer. (I haven't gotten around to changing my name on my bank account yet.) And some how I end up betting him a margarita that I would not like the show.  In the spur of the moment I wrote my phone number on the check. This is not something I ever do. And for good reason too. So I pretty much forget about this until a few days later when I get a text from said bartender asking when he can take me to get a margarita. I don't know why but I said yes and we agreed to meet for happy hour the next day. Then he texts me a little bit and mentions that he is graduating from college this semester. And that's when I realize that not only did I pick up a bartender, I also just became a cougar.

It was way too late to cancel the date by the time I realized this. So I sucked it up and went. And seriously, this sweet boy could not have been more than 22 or 23. He is sitting there telling me about his roommates and how glad he is to get out of the dorm and I'm now sucking up my margarita quite quickly. I'm thinking in my head that I'll tell him I'm 25 if he asks. I'm also trying to do the math in my head to figure out what year I should have been born.  I felt awful when he wouldn't let me pay for my drinks. I felt like I was taking money from a kid. Are you getting awkwardly uncomfortable yet because I am. But atleast I can check a few more things off my list of "done that, not going there again". Pick up a random guy at a bar, check. Become a cougar, check check. He said to text him soon so we could go out again. I giggled the way I always do when I have no idea what to say and then I jumped in my car and locked the doors quickly as if someone was going to get me.  I think I was trying to escape the creeper that I had felt like for the past hour. I sped off and never looked back. So there you have it, I've still got that "charm".