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May 22, 2013 

"I suffer from depression." 

Today 

I review the notes in phone looking for a new blog entry. I come across May 22 of last year and it only says that I suffer of depression. Today I am not feeling depressed but likely on May 22 I was feeling it all. Depression is crippling. It stops a "writer" from having any words. It shuts a person down completely. 

I've taken medication for my depression since 2009. I fear nothing more than getting off or changing my medication. I am not myself when my medication is changed slightly. The darkest days of my life involved changes made to my medication. Someone is really going to have to love me when I get pregnant because I won't be able to take my medication. God bless that poor soul that must endure those nine months with me. 

Depression is an illness. It is a disease. I remember when I first started getting really depressed. I remember my dad not understanding why I wouldn't just perk up. He has never suffered from depression. Real, diagnosable depression disorder. My mother understood though. I remember her telling him that it wasn't in my power to just perk up. It wasn't. It still isn't.